Are you stressed out planning your wedding and overwhelmed with outside opinions and unhelpful advice coming from all directions? Do you feel that when it comes to your wedding planning you're confused and frustrated with too many comments from too many people? Today’s advice post is going to be an important one for all brides, whether you are very newly engaged and just at the beginning of wedding planning or if you are further along in your wedding planning process. We are talking about setting boundaries when wedding dress shopping and when planning your wedding overall. No matter where you are in the process of your wedding, all brides-to-be will find helpful advice in today's post about how to have a stress-free wedding planning experience and how to avoid unwanted opinions and well-intentioned advice from friends and family.
The bridal dress consultants at Lovella have seen many brides get overwhelmed when wedding dress shopping. It can be an emotional experience and with so many styles of wedding dresses to try on, it is easy to get overwhelmed, confused, and frustrated. This is especially true if you have loved ones with you while trying on bridal dresses. You may be bombarded with differing opinions, pressure and thoughts from your family and friends as you are trying on wedding dresses. This can also happen while making other decisions throughout your wedding planning journey, such as choosing a wedding venue or deciding what bridesmaid dresses to pick or what flowers to choose. When it comes to wedding planning there are always lots of opinions from loved ones in your life.
We have an important tip to share with all brides to help them set boundaries while wedding dress shopping and wedding planning. This little tip is something we at Lovella like to call “The Bride’s Secret” and it will be a lifesaver when outside opinions are getting into your head and getting in the way of the overall flow of your wedding planning. This is a secret weapon brides will want to keep in their back pocket to aid with unwanted opinions and thoughts during their wedding dress shopping and wedding planning.
If you are planning your wedding, then you likely have family and friends helping you in this process and are interested in the wedding planning journey. You may be getting overwhelmed with constant questions about the details of your wedding dress or wedding flowers, and all the other numerous wedding details brides have to make decisions about while wedding planning.
As you are planning your wedding and doing research, you are seeing so many different ideas and photos of different wedding elements. You will be narrowing down options for your wedding colors, and wedding centerpieces, even bridesmaids' dresses. As you are sharing details with those involved in your wedding, you are likely getting a lot of feedback and opinions, that may be welcomed or may be overwhelming.
Remember that you have done your research and the people outside of your wedding planning process are not on the same journey as you. Let’s say you are asking for opinions on wedding reception centerpieces and you have it narrowed down to two options. Now you have most likely looked at dozens of centerpieces and throughout that process have figured out what you like and what you don’t like. But your future mother-in-law or aunt or whoever it may be, has not seen all of those different photos you looked at and followed along as you narrowed down your selection, so they will likely have different opinions than you. It can become confusing or even cause you to start to second-guess your decision when receiving this feedback.
This is where the bride’s secret can come in handy!
The Bride’s Secret
You may think you are an expert at setting boundaries. We all have to set boundaries every day - from work to friends, and even family. Wedding planning is such a unique time in your life and brings its own challenges and stressors, so it will be important to recognize when, and with who, you may need to set boundaries.
So what is the bride’s secret? It is exactly that - a secret. If you are getting overwhelmed with opinions that you don’t want or are getting bogged down by endless questions from friends and family, you can just tell everyone that it is a secret and they will find out on your wedding day. Yes, it's just that simple.
The bride's secret is that it's a secret!
We know that family dynamics can be complicated and at Lovella, we have seen it all while brides are wedding dress shopping. Sometimes brides feel obligated to include someone in their wedding dress shopping appointments that they may not necessarily want the opinion of, or know that their opinion is going to differ from their own. It is ultimately up to the bride to decide what wedding dress to wear that makes them feel beautiful and confident.
To any of the folks who are asking you what your dress looks like or what you will wear on your wedding day, you can tell them that just like you will be surprising your fiancé with your bridal outfit, you want to surprise your wedding guests too and they will see your gown on the wedding day.
First Look Reveal
It used to be a tradition for the bride and her partner to not see each other before the bride walked down the wedding aisle. The partner would see the bride for the first time as she was escorted down the aisle. Traditions and times have changed, and many couples now opt for a first-look reveal on their wedding day. A special time for the wedding couple to see each other for the first time and share a private moment together before the ceremony and join in with their wedding guests.
Use this type of logic when you are thinking about the “bride’s secret” and want to set boundaries when it comes to wedding planning. You can keep details like your wedding dress style a secret and surprise everyone on the wedding day.
First Look Alternatives
In addition to a first look with your partner, there are other first look options too. We often see brides do a first look reveal with their fathers or whoever will be walking them down the wedding aisle. A new trend we have seen and love is a bridesmaids or wedding party reveal.
Your maid of honor or bridesmaids may have seen your wedding dress at the bridal dress store when you tried on sample wedding gowns, or maybe they have seen photos of your bridal dress. But they haven’t yet seen the whole picture of you in your entire bridal outfit. Seeing you as a bride, with your hair and makeup done and your perfectly fitting bridal dress, is an exciting moment and a chance for you to show off a little bit to your closest friends on your wedding day.
Don’t Get Overwhelmed
We often see brides using the bride’s secret when they have gotten to the point of being overwhelmed with outside opinions. They have been open and transparent along their wedding planning journey, but are now overwhelmed with the responses they are getting.
Don’t be afraid to draw the line in the sand early when it comes to opinions and well-intentioned wedding planning advice. It is completely okay to take this strategy and set the boundaries early so you have the space you need in wedding planning. You don’t have to share anything about your wedding with anyone.
Telling your wedding guests that you are surprising them with your wedding gown or decor details, whatever it may be, just like you are surprising your fiancé on your wedding day with your bridal outfit will set the boundary for no one to be able to come in and give their opinion and cloud your judgment or thought process.
You know your family and friends best, so use your best judgment based on your audience on how you should navigate the wedding planning process. You will know which of your friends or family may cross boundaries.
At the end of the day, it will take a toll on your mind and your heart when other people are telling you what you should be doing or what items you should be choosing. Stick to your intuition and choose what is authentic to you and don’t be afraid to use the bride’s secret to set those boundaries!
Video: PART 2: How to Set Boundaries When Wedding Dress Shopping with Guests - What is the Bride's Secret?
Be sure to tune in to this week's advice video where our Wedding Fashion Expert shares with you The Bride's Secret to Setting Boundaries When Wedding Dress Shopping with Guests.
More Helpful Advice
For even more helpful advice when shopping for your dream wedding dress and how to be prepared to shop for your wedding dress, be sure to check out our past posts:
- How to Set Boundaries When Wedding Dress Shopping with Guests
- Bridal Store Etiquette: The Dos And Don'ts Of Wedding Dress Shopping
- What Does It Mean To Be Ready To Buy Your Wedding Dress?
- Wedding Dress Shopping Without Stress During Pandemic Supply Chain Delays